Oh, Farrah

At one point in time, we thought we wanted to be her. Now, looking back on this scene from the camp classic, Myra Breckinridge, we suspect another slightly confused dynamic might also have been at play.

A fond farewell. (And a bonus sighting of film critic Rex Reed!)

Hey, where's our tribute?!

Or where's your nomination, rather, which we're currently accepting for the CineKink Tribute, an annual award that honors outstanding depictions of kink and sex-positivity in mainstream film and television.

Last year's CineKink Tribute was presented to the film Shortbus-- which was directed by our long-time nemesis, John Cameron Mitchell, and distributed by ThinkFilm--for its "frank, funny and human look at the inextricable role sexuality plays in our day-to-day lives and the many flavors it can exhibit."

Meanwhile, honorable mentions (aka the CineKink Nod) went to Focus Feature's Lust, Caution, to ThinkFilm's documentary release Zoo and to the syndicated series, The Oprah Winfrey Show. (Yes, that Oprah...for the episode "237 Reasons to Have Sex"!) (You thought there were only 236?)

A wide range of works--will it be Tyra?--are eligible for consideration, as long as they were released for US distribution (theatrical, broadcast and/or cable) at any time in 2008. Winners will be announced in conjunction with CineKink NYC, which is coming up February 24-March 1, 2009.

So, who's gonna take it home this year? Let us know!

Oh, yeah, happy belated birthday.

We've been so pins-and-needles over tomorrow's election thing, we're totally late to the party for the 40th birthday of the MPAA's rating system. Oh, well--it's not like they bothered to show up for our 40th shindig.



Founded in 1968, largely as a way for industry to stave off government intervention in the movie business, the ratings were/are intended as a way to help parents decide which titles are appropriate for the precious youngsters, but have tended to be a bit, er, capricious over the years.

In a fitting birthday gift to the MPAA, Defamer has come up with a very special list of questionable rulings made over the years, "40 Reasons to Wish the MPAA Ratings System an Unhappy 40th Birthday."

Be sure to check out the rest, but just a few of the hits:

Boys Don't Cry: Threatened with an NC-17 for a lingering shot of a topless Chloe Sevigny experiencing an orgasm, but allowed to keep the climactic rape scene and gunshot to Brondon Teena's head.

and, of course...

Waiting For Guffman: A classic example of the "Fuck Rule"; a Christopher Guest mockumentary with no sex or violence but featuring the F-word used one too many times in an actor's audition using the scene from Raging Bull. Its R-rating was upheld on appeal. (You can use "fuck" in a non-sexual way up to four times in and retain a PG-13 — maybe.)

And in an interesting coincidence (or is it?!), Zack and Miri Make a Porno, which barely squeaked away from it's own NC-17 rating, opened on the MPAA's birthday to not-so-spectacular results. At work might have been a skittering away from the the film's title and subject matter by mainstream newspapers and venues... though several reports underlined the odd hypocrisy of limiting the sex-themed feature while glorifying such torture-porn fare as Saw V.

Then again, going back to Defamer, it could just be bad marketing on the part of the distributing Weinstein brothers. Shocking, indeed!

Poodle!

We're a little dubious about how affirmative a depiction one might expect in Choke, the adaptation of the Chuck Pulahniuk novel of the same name, but we have been amused at the trailer's bits of a forced entry roleplay scenario unfolding in the midst of cable news coverage of our nation's pending financial "bail-out."

Here, in a clip from the movie, our haplass, sex-addicted protagonist negotiates the terms of said scenario:



The movie opens tonight, but in the meantime, distributor Fox Searchlight is interested in hearing about your favorite types of roleplay. If you'd like to weigh in--or check in on some of the creative (or not) suggestions thus far--your chance is right here.

No soup for you, Zack and Miri!

In Kevin Smith's ongoing struggle with the MPAA to get his latest film, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, out into the theaters and in front of an audience, comes news that the agency has rejected the original poster for the movie. Featuring the title characters, each fully clothed, you may also notice at the bottom edge of the poster the somewhat humorous suggestion that each is getting oral, er, attention from the other. Pretty innocuous--and banned by the MPAA!



Interestingly, as noted on CinemaBlend.com, the MPAA earlier approved very similar imagery for the Dane Cook-vehicle, Good Luck Chuck, for a poster that went even further--if you can call it that--featuring the actor more apparently in flagrante delitico.



One might chalk up the discrepancy to mere bureaucratic inconsistency. Or, perhaps something more insidious, as it brings to mind contentions made in the documentary, This Film Is Not Yet Rated, that the MPAA regularly applies far more rigorous standards when a depiction includes female sexual pleasure--and not just some guy boffing a pie.

Hypocrisy much? Meanwhile, first reports on the film, which just premiered in Toronto, can be found here!

A return to core values

Between last week's visit home with family and the past few days indulging a consuming fetish for national politics, we've been too distracted to think much about sex and/or movies.

Time to put a stop to that! This weekend we'll finally catch up with Vicky Cristina Barcelona, the latest from Woody Allen and, from some of the buzz of it, a likely candidate for the next CineKink Tribute. Or, at very worst, a little time spent in the dark watching pretty people making out in pretty places:



Also on deck for tonight, the next-to-last installment of Swingtown, the series that seems to get better and better with each episode, even as fears of its imminent demise continue to swirl.

Granted, that's a lot of laboring for one weekend, but hopefully we'll get through it!

Oh, well, as long as it's not titillating.

Kevin Smith's upcoming latest, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, in which two friends attempt to overcome debt(!) by entering the adult film world, just had its rating reduced from an NC-17 to an R, after an appeal made by the director to the MPAA.

Acknowledging in an AP report that the more restrictive rating would have been "commercial suicide,"

Smith said the MPAA ratings board objected to two sex scenes involving co-stars Jason Mewes and Katie Morgan. After the movie's initial NC-17 rating, Smith said he trimmed those scenes as far as he was willing to go but was unable to convince the board to lower the rating.

"They felt it was rather sexually graphic. My point is, it was comically graphic. All the sex in the movie with the exception of one scene is very cartoonish, very campy," Smith said. "It wasn't designed to titillate."

The MPAA appeals board apparently agreed with Smith's arguments, which he presented on Tuesday. No word yet when/if he'll get an official thumbs-up on an early teaser for the film - see below - which the MPAA ordered yanked from its internet-only release back in June.

Sex on Spout

It's summertime and - much to our delight! - they definitely seem to have sex on the brain over at SPOUTBlog!

Just today, there's a round-up of The 10 Best Masturbation Scenes that will first have you questioning if there's even that many. Then have you rushing to comment on your favorite glaringly obvious omission. (Um, hello. Secretary?!?)

Beyond that, we've been horribly remiss in mentioning the blog's weekly posts by our provocative friend, Lauren Wissot, who began writing regularly for Spout back in June: "We wanted to call her column 'Art Films To Jerk Off To,' but in the end that might be too limiting––after all, who’s to say what qualifies as art?"

Since then, Lauren's missives on the libidinous in indie and mainstream cinema have touched upon such natural candidates as David Lynch, the S/M classic Maitresse and the Five Unsexiest Movies About Sex: The Breillat Awards(!!). And they've incorporated some unlikely subjects as well, from the consideration of Charlie Chaplin as sexy rogue to the BDSM underpinnings of Hitchcock's Marnie:

She was “always pulling her skirt down over her knees as if there were a national treasure,” Marnie’s lecherous employer-turned-victim Mr. Strutt mutters at the beginning of Hitch’s classic, introducing us to Hedren’s character as a trobbing cock-tease – who, of course, needs to be punished like the naughty little girl she really is deep down inside. Enter Connery’s controlling Master Rutland, immaculately dressed in suit and tie (I love a man in a uniform!), a big bad wolf smile on his face as he eavesdrops on Strutt’s report to the police. Is there any doubt that this is the perfect square-jawed, hairy-chest daddy for the B&D job?

We imagine she does - but we can't wait to see if Lauren shares our take on The Sound of Music!

A sailor's not a sailor?

In honor of Fleet Week and the fine men, women and all possible variations thereof who have served our country over the years:



Enjoy the day, however you best see fit!

(From Irving Berlin's There's No Business Like Show Business, via danbearnyc)

Um. Pornography is in focus?

A twist on an old joke has cropped up around CineKink, surfacing more frequently around festival submission time:

"What's the difference between art and pornography?"

"Pornography arrives with its 2257 compliance properly identified."

Bah dump bump.

Anyway...an expansion on some of the topics we discussed during our recent SXSW panel, The Porn Police: Know the Rules, an article by attorney Alan Levy has just been published in The Yale Law Journal.

First tracing the history of federal 2257 record-keeping regulations and its recent judicial back-and-forths, the article then goes into the implications that they present to all filmmakers, including those working with actual and with simulated depictions of sexual conduct.

Mainstream filmmakers should be especially concerned with the language of the most recent published § 2257 regulations, in which Attorney General Alberto Gonzales wrote, “Section 2257A requires that producers of visual depictions of simulated sexually explicit conduct maintain records documenting that performers in those depictions not be minors.” Does this mean that a noted film such as Taxi Driver, in which a twelve-year-old Jodi Foster portrays a thirteen-year-old prostitute, is unlawful? What about the more recent controversial film Hounddog, which premiered at the 2007 Sundance Film Festival and portrayed twelve-year-old Dakota Fanning as a rape victim? Even a film nominated for Best Picture at the 2008 Academy Awards may be affected by § 2257A. Atonement has one scene of explicit simulated sexual conduct involving actress Juno Temple, who was seventeen years of age at the time of filming.

While filmmakers working in the adult arena are, for the most part, all too aware of the regulations, their existence seems to escape notice of documentarians who occasionally stumble into the realm of actual sexual conduct. (And again, we ask, what the hell does that mean?) And with the expansions presented by 2257A, a huge new class of fiction filmmakers is folded into the mix.

For all, it is critical to know both the rules and the risks - and to work together in protesting their chilling presence.

To read more of Alan's article: How “Swingers” Might Save Hollywood from a Federal Pornography Statute

Poly on the red carpet

Putting in plenty of face time at all of the past year's award shows, Tilda Swinton has also put a new spotlight on non-monogamy, as a regular companion on the red carpet has been her boyfriend Sandro Kopp - both seen here in a picture snagged from the British Independent Film Awards - and not her long-time partner, John Byrne.

Rather refreshingly in these past weeks of scandal upon scandal, the fact that she's part of an open relationship has been directly acknowledged, along with the tidbit that Byrne stayed behind in Scotland to mind their twins while Swinton was scooping up her Oscar.

In Wedded to Variety, a Chicago Sun Times article triggered by the high-profile arrangement, polyamory activist Anita Wagner observes that "Tilda's relationship situation is exactly like the relationships of many people I know. Except for the fame and money."

Yes, except that!

Really, baby, that's just crazy talk

Naturally, just as soon as we finally manage to convince the relevant men in our life that this whole "teeth in the vagina" phobia is merely primal fear turned urban legend, along comes, well, Teeth.

The movie, about a virginal, teen-age girl who discovers that she does in fact suffer from vagina dentata, was a cult hit at last year's Sundance and is going out in limited release this weekend from Roadside Attractions. As is often the case, a comparison of the promotional posters created for its festival vs. theatrical release is pretty illuminating, an interesting glimpse into who the marketing-powers-that-be see is the film's true potential audience - and what needs to be tapped to get them in the seats.


No tagline, but t-shirt reads "Warning: sex changes everything."


"Every rose has its thorns," plus pull-quote "The most alarming cautionary tale for men since Fatal Attraction."

Ooooh, scary boys - look out! To be fair, probably a more accurate pitch, since this isn't some wacky rom-com. But if fear's not your only motivator and you're looking to know more before you go, Lauren Wissot's got the review over at The House Next Door.

Who's your daddy?

Invited by Rachel Kramer Bussel to take part in the kinky virtual book tour for her just-published anthologies, She's On Top: Erotic Stories of Female Dominance and Male Submission, along with the complementary He's On Top: Erotic Stories of Male Dominance and Female Submission, we pretty readily chose the latter to highlight. Because we're switchy and all, but given a real choice in the matter, that's the direction we'd generally prefer to tumble.

That said, book in hand, we recalled, afterall, that our focus is ordinarily on kinky film and television, and that there are plenty of other outlets devoted to literature and such. What might we possibly add to the discussion, other than the observation that the bulk of the stories are well-crafted, engaging, achingly hot and, best of all for the adaptation-minded - really, really short! (We might also point out which of them are ripest for a jump to the silver screen - perhaps even suggest some casting possibilities - but that's generally the type of high-level development work best reserved for your cadre of unpaid interns.)

Instead, we thought we'd take He's On Top: Erotic Stories of Male Dominance and Female Submission as a jumping off point for a ramble through some of our favorite cinematic male dominants:

Rene/Sir Stephen/random guys at château
This one was tough. It's one of the most obvious in terms of literary characters, but we just can't seem to make the leap to film with everyone successfully intact. Udo Kier plays a romantic if overly mopey Rene in L'Histoire d'O and Evan Stone nearly nails - so to speak - the role of Sir Stephen in Ernest Greene's recent O - The Power of Submission. We're still waiting for a rendering of "random guys at château" that anywhere near approaches the version that lives on inside our fevered brain.

Marquis de Sade

Another classic, one who's made countless cinematic appearances. Our personal best is Benoît Jacquot's Sade, featuring a rumpledly handsome Daniel Auteuil. This depiction takes place at a point when Sade is not confined to a grim cell, just merely detained with various noble others at a château (again with that!) in the French countryside, allowing for a bit of fresh air, lavish costumes and dalliances that include a wide-eyed daughter of aristocracy and a whip-flavored romp with the stable boy.

Dr. Sayer

This time the action moves to a villa in 1960s Italy for The Frightened Woman - and we'll cop to including this one largely so we could link to its mondo groovy trailer. But while Philippe Leroy is a bit bloodless for our taste - and, hmmm, is he a real dominant? - there's something about his chilly sadism that resonates. Bring out the big hoses!

John Grey

To our mind, 9½ Weeks has always gotten a bit of a bum wrap. Sure, it's from a big-budget Hollywood director and it's all mainstream and shit. But Mickey Rourke definitely looks great in a suit, knows how to smack a riding crop and he's always got this wry, little smile about to break through, so we're never quite sure how much trouble we're actually in for. (No château, but in Manhattan real estate terms, a penthouse loft is just as good.) So what if it turns out that Kim Basinger's really not all that kinky afterall? There's plenty more of us just waiting to fill the void.

Mr. E. Edward Grey

Just three little words: type it again.

Captain von Trapp

Yeah, this one surprised us a bit as well. But - a cautionary note to parents with young children - take a four-year-old to the movies and you might well create an imprint. We first saw The Sound of Music in its original release way back when. But then, during a latter years screening it struck us - Christopher Plummer - it all began right here! The handsome but aloof (suit-wearing!) man, just waiting for the right woman's love to melt his heart. The willful young supplicant who blossoms under (finally!) just the right amount of discipline and loving guidance. And, of course, row upon row of fresh-scrubbed faces gazing up beseechingly for approval. ("You've been fraternizing with Nazi sympathizers again? I'm afraid that Daddy's very, very angry with you.")

Hey, we're just glad we managed to avoid also fetishizing Bambi.

Thank you, mum, may we have another?

While we still think of her most fondly as Detective Chief Inspector Jane Tennison from the Prime Suspect series, we're delighted that this year's Oscars have brought new attention to the prolific hotness that is Helen Mirren.

Of course, there's another infamous role that most likely won't be a topic of discussion when she has dinner with the QE2. Back during that brief era when it was a risque but acceptable move for a "legitimate" actor to appear in an explicit bit of filmmaking, Mirren portrayed Caesonia, wife of the crazed emperor and "the most promiscuous woman in Rome," in Gore Vidal's 'Caligula'.

Perhaps instead they can chat about the bit of video that's been making an on-again, off-again appearance around YouTube the past year, namely Trailer for a Remake of Gore Vidal’s 'Caligula':



From our extensive research, we understand that the trailer, featuring a stunning and good-natured Mirren, is but a spoof (or, "art", if you really must insist). We'd like to suggest that some savvy investor consider otherwise and step forward with the funding for what could surely be Helen Mirren's next Oscar-worthy vehicle.

Why don't you have a seat right about... here?!?

We figured we'd embargo this tidbit until after Valentines Day, but a thought for our gorgeous, smart, talented, witty - and did we mention gorgeous? - younger sibling currently navigating the Los Angeles dating morass... apparently things could get worse!



Enter Cast-a-Date, the "only networking, dating and casting site, exclusively for people IN THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY." Seeing where it's based, that might seem a little redundant, but - not to worry - we are comforted by the fact that it's run by "real Hollywood Casting Directors!" (Hat-tip Defamer.)

No word yet on an alt sex version, but we're thinking it will feature plenty of "real" Hollywood producers and supplicant wannabe screenwriters. Hot!

It's hard out here for a nymph.

Don't you know it! For months we've been ogling the posters for Black Snake Moan, with an interior monologue that was saying something like "hey, this movie looks like it might be really hot... especially in that I really shouldn't think this is hot kinda way."



Then, reported Sundance sightings of stocking cap swag bearing the inscription "It's hard out here for a nymph." (Hat tip - !! - ScreenGrab) Alright, a not-so-coy reference to director Craig Brewer's previous film, Hustle & Flow. We'll give it cute enough.

But poking around the updated (and very loud, be careful) Black Snake Moan website, our growing trepidation seemed justified when we came across the "Are You a Nymph?" quiz, with such questions as:

Have you had more sexual partners than birthdays?

Do you own more than one sex toy?

Do you have more than three porn stars on your MySpace friends page?

Maybe we're miffed because we only scored as a Moderate Nymph. (Seriously!) But the resulting diagnosis - "You ain't right yet. Sex continues to effect your everyday life. Slow down. You can't continue to rub up against anyone you find attractive" - left us feeling a little icky. Particularly considering the youthful male demographic the movie is obviously being pitched to, we're not so keen to have such hot buttons as female sexual shame and worth being pushed by some mid-level Paramount marketing flunkie. (Unless, perhaps, he/she is wearing a nicely tailored suit and we're kneeling expectantly in front of him/her.)

And, unless Samuel Jackson really has Christina Ricci chained up for the sole purpose of getting her to eat a steak dinner and put a bit of meat back on her emaciated frame, the movie's trailer has left us a wee bit squicked as well:

Fox Before The Code

No, not that Fox, silly! While we were off gallavanting in Vegas with the International Film Festival Summit, we somehow lost sight of the fact that Fox Before The Code, a wonderful, three-week series of films from the era right before the infamous Hayes Production Code went into effect, was simultaneously unspooling at NYC's Film Forum.

In a lengthy discussion on The Reeler, the theatre's director of reperatory programming, Bruce Goldstein, notes how the package of films came together and puts them into their larger historical context. “When I first saw a pre-Code film, I was just stunned," Goldstein said. "I never believed that films could be that racy in 1931.”

But, while we may have missed Call Her Savage - pictured above and apparently containing not only the proffered whip, but a romp with a Great Dane and the silver screen's first bona fide gay bar - there's still time to catch such likely gems as Painted Woman, She Learned About Sailors and 3 On a Honeymoon! The series runs until December 21st.